Obi Personal Log Aged One and Eleven Twelfths: Tree

I know a lot about Christmas.  My first was last year.  It was a lot better than this year but Mum and Dad do try.  Once I have explained to them more about what the essence of Christmas is all about, I am sure they will make progress.  Bones, Good food, log fires, free runs and tennis balls.
Today I helped put some final touches to the tree.  At Christmas a number of human beans bring trees into their houses for decoration.  It is important that all well behaved dogs understand that this is not an indoor bathroom option.  However cold it is outside, you must continue to use the usual facilities if you wish to maintain a light, and jovial atmosphere within your chosen home.
There were some surprises with my forever family.  Most concerning; they have an enormous Baby Jesus.  Why?  He only sits on the hay after Midnight Mass whatever that is.  In the meantime he was looked at.  I sniffed.  Then re-wrapped.  He sits in a warm cupboard until he ‘arrives’.  I didn’t have the heart to tell Mum that he looked as though he was well and truly ‘here’.  I wondered if his Mum will miss him while he’s in the cupboard.  She looked OK.  I sat with her for a bit incase I should call Mum back and suggest a change of plan.
There were some lovely mulled wine scented candles around the crib.  Tabitha, Connie and I eat them.  They tasted nice.  Mum says we will have fragrant poo.  Difficult to explain to a human bean that poo is a very beautiful thing to a dog, it does not need to be enhanced.
While Mum did stuff I had a free run with Connie.  Excited by the aromatic candle, I dabbed duck poo behind my ears.  Mum says she is taking out shares in wet wipes and shampoo.  I smell weird.
Tonight I am off duty.  I will discover alcoholic drink, glitter and angel hair.  Wonders never cease.  I didn’t like to remind her I hit the Champagne when we were training.  She may have no memory of it.
I like Christmas although Mum’s taste in Christmas music is naff.  Nothing new and very little heavy metal.
I have seen no sign of serious Christmas food yet.  I checked out the animal’s drawer with Humphrey this evening.  We both agreed there was only cat food and equipment in there.  Sadly we were intercepted before we could check out whether the cat is on turkey or not.

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