A Round Robin Or An Obese Christmas Message You Should Choose To Ignore

This year has been truly AMAZING. It is difficult to know where to start.Some years are like that, aren’t they?

My partner, S has had an EXCEPTIONAL year. Unexpectedly selling a rare painting he picked up at a charity shop in January enabled him to fulfil the dream of a lifetime and set up an extraordinary model railway.  Only a true connoisseur would appreciate the detail and precision.  I am proud to write that a tubby, rather slow loco has been named Jane and now travels with decorum through the landscape of the Highlands, painted by local artist and dear friend – well let’s just say his work is highly collectable! I think we have another original on our hands!
Dear S has been obstemious in his choices as ever.  Bespoke has taken the place of recycle in this fulfilled and contented household.  He is a darling.  
I have enjoyed a pleasing year writing. The critical acclaim was quite unexpected. Who would have thought that ‘A Condensed Romp Through Homicide’ would do so well.  The prize was a wonderful moment which made all those daily word counts suddenly worthwhile.  
It has been moving to meet so many appreciative readers at signings and festivals. High spots have to be being interviewed by Jenni Murray on fat crime, the latest genre to be taking crime writing by storm and fast replacing tartan noir as the best selling genre this side of the Border.
Of course the pressure is on to publish the sequel. ‘Glitter Balls’ is well on the way to publication. We are launching to coincide with the next series of Strictly. I hope I’m not going to be told off for giving too much away. Let’s just say bloodstains, sequins and Blackpool Tower Ballroom appear on my surfing history.  I can hear my agent Persephone screaming at me ‘Stop!’
This year the children seemed to grow from strength to strength. Isolde has completed her PhD in Astral Theorum. She is lecturing in San Franscisco, living happily with So, and So’s daughter, Happiness.
Jaspar was disappointed not to be picked as Britain’s first man in space, but he seems to think that Tim is an ‘OK guy’ and could do ‘pretty well with the crew’s support’. We are so proud of him; his insight, generosity and commitment. He is looking forward to appearing in next year’s The Apprentice. I am so pleased his true worth will soon be realised.
Cotton continues to manage her conservation project. Press coverage linking her name with the well known TV nature documentary maker are greatly exagerated. Watch this space peeps. A list at Harvey Nich’s has to be de rigeur in this day and age. There I go again!
The babies are now grown and flown. Estella Rose has opened her fourth craft brewery. Trojan (8) and Spartania (5) are doing superbly at school. Trojan is grade 7 violin and Spartania is preparing to try out for the National Youth Theatre. Her Lear has to be seen.
Jompers is discovering the meaning of Life in a yurt just outside Brighton.
We thrive on variety. Sadly we’ve not had as much time in the house in Tuscany as we’d have liked this year but trips to The Emirates, Texas and Tibet for an audience with you know who were a joy.  Yes, of course I gave him a signed copy.  Silly!
Hoping you have a perfect Christmas in the bosom of your family and a gorgeous New Year.


Much love, J and S


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